Making the decision to end a marriage is a difficult one. You can’t help but think, “What if I make the wrong choice?” And you’re probably wondering if there’s anything else you can do that would save your marriage.
While you might be able to put forth some kind of effort to keep your marriage afloat for a little longer, that doesn’t mean it’s the best choice to make. If you look at your marriage objectively, there are often warning signs or red flags that divorce might be on the horizon. But many people tend to overlook these signs.
People get divorced for a variety of reasons, so if you’re struggling with a potential divorce, here are 4 divorce warning signs many people miss.
- Almost every interaction is a negative one.
No marriage is perfect. There will be disagreements, arguments, and fights. But just because you have a few fights with your spouse, that doesn’t mean your marriage is over. It’s to be expected. It’s time to start worrying, however, when those negative interactions outnumber the positive interactions.
It should be the other way around. The more positive interactions a couple has, the stronger and happier their marriage tends to be. You will experience both good and bad times during a marriage, but when those bad times happen all the time, you might need to start reevaluating your relationship.
- You and your partner have different values.
The idea that opposites attract is nice on paper, but it doesn’t always work out well in marriages. While it’s not a rule, people tend to be more compatible with a partner who is similar to them. Why? Because they will want to lead similar lives.
Although it might be fine in the beginning, if you and your partner have completely different values on politics, religion, family, or a number of other values, those differences may eventually catch up to the two of you. What if one spouse wants a bunch of kids but the other doesn’t? A couple may not be able to reconcile those differences without someone compromising their own happiness.
- There is a serious lack of communication.
Couples communicate in a number of ways: chatting about their days, discussing important issues, talking about their hopes and dreams, and more. Communication is the key to any happy marriage. So if you and your spouse aren’t communicating well, your marriage could potentially be headed for divorce.
If your partner won’t talk to you about what’s going on their personal life or he or she stops caring about what’s going on in yours, you might be dealing with a serious communication issue. And if there’s an important marital issue that your partner is unwilling to discuss, there’s a problem.
- Your instincts tell you one thing, but you do the opposite.
If your gut is telling you that it’s time to get a divorce, you owe it to yourself to listen. That doesn’t mean that you definitely should get a divorce, but it does mean that there’s a problem that needs to be addressed in one way or another.
For you and your spouse, maybe that means going to therapy and saving your marriage. There are lots of couples who think there’s no hope but end up staying together – and being happier – after counseling.
What you shouldn’t do is just pretend everything is okay, but all too often that’s the choice we make. We feel a certain way about something, but we decide to ignore those feelings. We chalk it up to nerves and move along. But if you ignore your instincts about getting a divorce, you’re only perpetuating your feelings of unhappiness.
You have to really think hard about your relationship and decide whether or not it’s worth saving. How will each decision impact your kids? Your finances? The bottom line is that if your marriage shows one or more of these divorce warning signs, you might want to talk with an experienced Florida divorce attorney to see if divorce really is the right option for you.